issue twenty-five

thank you for being a friend

Jan 25, 2022

I don’t remember my first internet friend’s name, but I do remember how we first started talking.

The year was 2010. I was an avid lurker of hockey Tumblr. I had an account (rip t0ewsface), posted stuff, but didn’t really interact with anyone. I mainly just reblogged my silly little gifs, tried to understand what in the goddamn hell superwholock was, and kept to myself. I also had a Twitter account as I had just gotten a Blackberry and Twitter was practically integrated into its operating system. Those were the days. As Twitter was gaining popularity, people I followed on hockey Tumblr started sharing their Twitter accounts, so there was an overlap.

Well, part of my bio on Tumblr said something about mentally dating Jonathan Toews (look, I know, it was a different time). One of my mutuals on Twitter screenshotted it and was like ”oh my god? this person just followed me??” and I, deeply embarrassed, replied saying that’s me and I had honestly forgotten that it was in there (I had not, I’m a Libra I love a little white lie to save face). We lol’d back and forth and my first internet friendship was formed.

As I said, I can’t remember her name, but I think about her often. She was my age, a Blackhawks fan, and from the Philippines. We talked about hockey, Patrick Kane’s mullet (again, different time), and whatever else crossed our high school focused minds. I remember I’d spend my morning bus ride catching up on what she’d sent me overnight, as the timezone difference made it so we weren’t often awake at the same time – that was until summer break and our sleep schedules ceased to exist.

I can’t remember how we drifted apart. It was likely when I went away to university; I neglected my Tumblr, lost most interest in the Blackhawks … the usual things that lead to a friendship drifting; a change in shared interests.

I’m thinking about internet friendships because of this piece from Saeed Jones, The Friends You Make Online, which made me openly weep when I read it this past week.

My life has truly been made richer by the friends I’ve made online. I don’t think it’s even fair for me to call them simply “internet friends” at this point. They’re so much more than that. They’ve been there through my darkest days, even if they didn’t necessarily know it at the time. Frankly, they’re one of the main reasons I’m still here today.

I think there’s something so specifically beautiful about online friendships. In most cases, these people come into your life due to a shared interest, whether it be a form of media, a sport, a musician, whatever, and that’s it. It’s so pure to me! You don’t know a single thing about his person besides “hey, they like this same thing as me!” It reminds me of kindergarten, befriending the kid with the same Batman lunchbox because what other reason could you possibly need.

I remember the first time I went to meet up with a group of my online friends in Toronto, my ex dismissed it, saying it was weird. These weren’t real friends that I was going to see, these were just weirdos from online I talked about hockey with. And I remember how deeply that cut me. How hurtful it was to have these very real, very important relationships dismissed simply because they stemmed from Twitter DMs as opposed to, I don’t know, going to the same high school or being introduced through a friend of a friend.

Online friendships are good. Online friendships are important. Online friendships are beautiful and a gift and make our horrible world so much brighter.

What I’m Listening To:

The Backbench: The So-Called Era Of Reconciliation

Absolutely fascinating discussion between three generations of Indigenous panellists and, as dubbed by Romeo Saganash, this “era of so-called reconciliation”.

Front Burner: The 15-year fight to treat Indigenous children as equals

You’re Wrong About: Tom Cruise on Oprah’s couch with Willa Paskin

This discussion on the changing nature of celebrity was absolute Liz-bait and I thoroughly enjoyed this discussion.

Articles:

Sometimes I link articles that are behind a paywall and I wanted to make sure everyone can read what I share. Knowledge is power, even if it is a silly little Vulture article about silly little celebrities.

Here are two resources I use:

https://12ft.io/ - very simple and straightforward, copy & paste the URL in and get around that paywall

https://github.com/iamadamdev/bypass-paywalls-chrome/blob/master/README.md - little more involved, download & install this chrome extension and it’ll automatically get around most paywalls

Now, onto the articles

Back To Normal Isn’t Enough

Succession’s Greatest Insults, Ranked

Hypocrisy Aside, Bell’s ‘Let’s Talk’ Campaign Is Deeply Harmful

I Got Sober in the Pandemic. It Saved My Life.

Internet Shit: